One of my absolute favourites is From No to Yes, which was produced in 1988. The action revolves around a meeting with participants from each department (sales, marketing, IT, training, production) - a typical workplace scenario. The main character (played by Robert Lindsay) is the type who can only see the virtue of his own opinion - obviously the right one - and becomes increasingly frustrated by the “obtuseness” of his colleagues. His behaviour generates so much defensiveness that the others join forces against him. Unproductive behaviour, for sure. Fortunately, being a training video means that the action can be paused while the main character (Martin) gets a few pointers from his doctor (hint, hint - his behaviour is having a negative impact on his health). Step one: acknowledge the others' views first. "Oh, I see", says our protagonist. He doesn't get it quite right at first and has to try, try again but by the end of the video (27 minutes) he is a new man. He realizes that by applying three simple steps - starting with listening - he has a better chance of being heard. Does this mean he will get his way each time? No, claims the narrator on the film.
Word of caution - the aim of the film is described as giving “managers the skills of persuasion, vital in running meetings or trying to influence others." That sounds nasty, doesn't it? However - “It's not about being domineering or dismissive, but following a three-stage approach that accounts for everybody's needs: listening actively, explaining your own feelings, and inviting other ideas and building on them. When that happens, agreement follows naturally."
The bit about "agreement follows naturally" doesn't mean that "Martin" gets his way. It's about finding the best solution.
These days, listening is - or should be - a standard component of any workshop on communication skills. It was the bit that assertiveness training tended to neglect in the past. Note that the film illustrates the importance of active listening at the workplace, not only in personal relationships. Is the film dated? In many respects, yes, of course. That's what makes it fun. And that doesn't diminish the point. By the way, do a search for "active listening" and you'll get over 34 million hits! So this blog will have more entries about this essential communication skill.
Lots has also been written about effective leadership and management. Modern day leaders/managers need to demonstrate an ability to listen - and acknowledge that they have listened.
Lots has also been written about effective leadership and management. Modern day leaders/managers need to demonstrate an ability to listen - and acknowledge that they have listened.
True story: recently I happened to see a CNN report on African Voices about a woman who had been crowned king of her village in Ghana: Peggielene Bartels, King of Otuam. When asked how she interacts with her subjects she replied, "I listen carefully, I am very humble."
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